In today when dinosaur toys solely get an increasing number of hyperrealistic, it’s straightforward to neglect that there was a time once they might be inaccurate not simply by following outdated science, but in addition attributable to full disregard for any form of scientific concerns. One of many prime examples of that is the Imperial line of dinosaur figures from the 80s (those I’ve particularly say 1986 on their bellies), which embody a number of the ugliest dinosaur toys ever created. They’d similarities with the Dor Mei figures, and I’m actually unsure the place one line ends and the opposite begins. These have been broadly distributed, and youngsters again then nearly couldn’t keep away from having a bunch of them of their toy-boxes.
Curiously (and frustratingly), the road additionally contains some very obscure taxa, some which have hardly ever if ever been launched in toy kind by different corporations, however typically in very insufficient guises. For instance, the Imperial line included a Podokesaurus, a theropod recognized solely from a specimen that was destroyed in a hearth, and that’s the one toy consultant I do know of that genus. Whereas that determine is satisfactory as a small theropod, and different of the Imperial figures are recognisable as what they’re speculated to be, the ankylosaurs of the road are completely hideous, which is a disgrace, as a result of additionally they signify hardly ever depicted genera.
These are the ankylosaurid Scolosaurus and the nodosaurid Palaeoscincus, the topic of this assessment. And off the bat, I can’t assist however surprise “what have been they pondering?!” These tiny-toothed herbivores are depicted with vast gaping jaws and large, sharp tooth, that will give any massive theropod a run for its cash. However okay, not less than that’s a constant characteristic of the toys, and the carnivorous animals should have even greater tooth? Nope. The Podokesaurus, Plesiosaurus, and Nothosaurus, which might even have had sharp tooth, the latter two undoubtedly even protruding of their mouths at odd angles, have closed jaws and no traces of tooth! And the Stegosaurus? The most important tooth of the lot!
As you will have sensed, I’m shaking with rage as I write this. However it must be stated that the our bodies of a number of the figures are surprisingly good, and if the Nothosaurus had teeth, it might really be one of many higher toys of it on the market. Anyway, again to this specific determine, the Palaeoscincus. This genus is fairly obscure, a historic wastebasket taxon initially based mostly on tooth (why this toy actually exhibits them off?), with numerous nodosaurid specimens and species assigned to it. This contains what was later break up off as Edmontonia, which is what most historic depictions of Palaeoscincus are based mostly on, together with the charming Panini figure (which has a tail-club, as a historic curiosity).
In that regard, this determine is extra correct in missing a tail-club, however that’s additionally the perfect that may be stated about it with regards to accuracy, as nothing else actually makes it recognisable as a nodosaur. It has rows of spikes alongside the higher a part of the physique, however not likely just like a sample seen in any nodosaur, not to mention Edmontonia, which had spikes alongside the flanks, however keeled osteoderms on the again. The spikes additionally cease on the base of the tail, whereas the osteoderms ought to have continued all the way in which to the tip. The body-shape is oddly compressed back and forth, whereas ankylosaurs have been vast and extra compressed from prime to backside. The entrance legs are considerably sprawled, however the hind legs fairly erect.
Mixed with the very non-ankylosaurian head with its lack of armour, large tooth and open mouth (stuff may really get misplaced in there, the opening continues all the way in which to the tail), the determine appears to be like like some form of amorphous reptile-monster at worst, and perhaps considerably like a spiky “mammal-like reptile” at greatest. Perhaps even a monstrous skink, per its namesake? However a dinosaur? Probably not… In its defence, the wrinkly texture throughout the physique is form of lifelike, and the spikes are fairly well-done. The plastic is a vibrant orange, with darker, brownish orange paint on the higher half, which really appears to be like fairly good. The tooth are white and the pupils black, luxuries which many different low-end figures didn’t have.
Regardless of these qualities, that is little doubt my nominee for ugliest dinosaur determine ever created, and I’m stunned somebody really made knock-offs of them, and, consider it or not, they have been even uglier! I’ve one in cream-coloured plastic with purple eyes (in any other case unpainted) that doesn’t appear to be a direct copy, however really sculpted after the identical determine (numerous particulars differ, notably the wrinkles and proportions). Or is the orange one the precise knock-off? Trying round, it appears that evidently the spiky tail on the creamy one makes it extra just like photographs I can discover of figures recognized because the Imperial model, however I’m wondering if anybody actually has an summary of those mysterious figures. Might they be variants from the identical firm?
Each figures are round 13 cm lengthy and 4 cm tall, however the cream one is far more robustly constructed, with a sleeker, nearly shark-like really feel to its head. The higher margin of its head is barely concave, whereas that of the orange one is extra convex, and has a really flaky spike on the again. I assume this isn’t a determine anybody actually requested for to be reviewed, however for the sake of completeness, somebody has to do it! So sorry for the rambling rant, however I feel that’s most likely an ample type for figures like these, which might be nearly simply excuses for passing off generic monsters as dinosaurs. I can mainly solely advocate it for being one of many solely figures on the market depicting Palaeoscincus.
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